As a mother, it seems like some days I don't talk about anything besides my kids, or think about anything but my kids, or do anything that isn't for the kids. And I certainly seem to write a lot about my kids. As near as I can recall, life has been like that since about the time I first realized I was pregnant (a little over 15 years ago now). Good thing I love my kids!

This was originally a post on a mailing list, written more or less in response to a post about "my wife says she wants another baby!" It's from about 2 years ago:

Honestly? I wouldn't trade any of my kids for anything, even my little "bonus" baby Alexander--who while unplanned, was certainly wanted.

However, I did sometimes wish that I had stopped with one, because that special closeness that Caitlin & I had when she was a baby was never quite the same after her (first) little brother came along. Or I wish that I had stopped at two, with a much longer interval between them. I had the first three boom, boom, boom at 2-1/2 year intervals, and it's not easy having that many little kids to deal with all at once. Colin (#3) had kind of a hard time of it--he never did anything first, he never had anything new, and when he first started talking, he always talked at the top of his lungs because everybody else was already talking and he had to scream just in an attempt to be heard. And then nobody heard anyway. And now with Alex around, Colin has lost his one distinction, that of being the baby of the family. But he is sharp as a tack, happy and affectionate, and the image of his father, while the others look more like me.

I thought that if I had my kids close together, they would be good playmates for each other. If I had it to do over, I would put more space between them. Taking care of Alex is much easier with the next oldest one being six years older. On the other hand, my brother is five years older than me, and I felt for years that we had nothing in common--which is one of the reasons I had mine closer together.

It's a balancing act--there's good points and bad points no matter how many you have or how you space them. But if you're going to have more than one, be sure you can deal with noise and mess and general chaos. If you like everything neat and tidy and quiet, I wouldn't recommend children at all! I have a pretty high tolerance for noise and mess, and even so there are some days I would gladly sell the lot to the first passing band of gypsies. The ability to laugh--at everything, including yourself--is the first
requirement for parenting.

My mob may drive me crazy, but they are worth it. And I understand the hormonal, I-want-another-baby thing all too well. Alex just hit a year, and I'm already missing the little baby stage. Fortunately for my sanity and my pocketbook, Alex's father took steps after his birth to make sure that there won't be anymore!

I wouldn't mind another one, personally--but I'd be damn sure there was going to be a full time father in the picture. And that doesn't seem to be very likely. So it looks like I'm done, with my four. And I love them all to pieces.

I was going to just follow Alex around for an hour or two and record everything that he does during that time...but the truth is that I can't keep up with him for that long! In fact, I would be hard pressed to keep up with him for 10 minutes, which may serve to explain the trail of chaos through my house. I run, run, run trying to pick things up, put things away, clean up the messes, and placate the outraged siblings he leaves in his wake, but I wear out long before he does!

A sampling of his recent activities:

Running through the kitchen and flinging open the oven door...repeatedly (doubly annoying as we are now on our second range...he permanently mis-placed the door on the one that came with the house; it was just happenstance that we had a replacement)

Dumping a box of eggs on the kitchen floor. This would be an annoyance if the floor was tiled; as it has some gawdy, god-awful carpet on it (circa 1974, at a guess) it's a minor disaster. (My opinion on the bonehead that decided carpet in kitchens was a good idea is a whole 'nother topic.)

Dumping a glass of Kool-Aid in almost the same spot.

Me: the chief hedgepig; I answer variously to Tiggywinkle, Ceridwen, and just about any variation on "Mama."

The Hedgepiglets: there are four of them: Caitlin (age 14), Jamie (12), Colin (9), and Alex (3).

Supporting members of the cast include: Grammy and Pompa (my parents); Brutus (Alex's father); John (my late husband and father of Caitlin, Jamie, and Colin); and assorted others, including Mr. Mac (my grape iMac and most faithful friend).

You'll meet me as we go along, but here are a few words of introduction to the hedgepiglets, lifted from an e-mail message I sent recently:

Between Caitlin-the-teenager and Alex-the-toddler (and it's amazing how similar the attitudes of the two are) I am just about run ragged. Alex's summer project is destroying the entire house and resisting all attempts to restrain him (I guess that's two projects); yesterday he started off with dumping an entire large, new bottle of Listerine on the kitchen floor and kinda went down hill from there. Wouldn't be so bad if the kitchen didn't have that nasty carpet on it! I couldn't get it all soaked up; the carpet still squishes and the whole house smells like Listerine. *sigh*

Caitlin's summer project is seeing if she can get herself grounded for the entire summer; this entails staying out way too late and also driving boys crazy all over town, by wearing shorts and tank tops and having way too nice a figure for a 14 year old!

Fortunately the other two are not quite so infuriating; Colin is a good boy and has been helping me with my paper route; Jamie is off with Grammy (my mother) in Oregon so is also no trouble. :)

But this child raising business really does take a lot of stamina, and a really good sense of humour! If I couldn't laugh at the disasters (sometimes it takes a while, I admit) I would never get through all this. And I really hate being a single mother; that is not what I expected at all.

But I wouldn't trade even one of them for anything. Alex is sweet and bright and affectionate when he isn't in destructo mode. Caitlin has everything a parent could want in a daughter, looks and intelligence and talent; she could take on the world if she develops the discipline to use all those gifts. Colin is smart and full of big dreams but is a bit lazy; he likes to take the easy way out. He wants to be sneaky but can't quite manage it. The best thing about having him help with the paper route is I finally get a chance to spend time with him without the others around, something that doesn't happen much otherwise. Jamie...is smarter and quicker than the others; as talented as the others and more at ease with his talents; good-humoured but also quick tempered. He is a lot like me and knows it and brags about it, which is a hell of an ego boost for me. We are on the same wave-length; we have the same ideas at the same time and make a good team because we don't have to discuss what needs to be done, we just do it. If I need help around the house he is the one that I turn to first.